Feeling Discouraged About Everything

I'm recovering from a very painful injury.  Today is the first day I have not taken pain meds so I'm really feeling it, I may end up taking one later.

Trump vs. Biden will be coming to an end soon and then we'll have to hear everyone complain about who got elected.  It blows my mind how politics bring out the ugliness in so many that I'd thought of us as nice, friendly people.  

COVID has changed so much and done so much damage to our society, our economy and mostly to those who have suffered through it or, even worse, lost someone to it.  It too has become a political divide here in the U.S. because it trickles down from the top and, in my opinion, Trump has been 100% irresponsible in the way he's handled COVID.  Don't get me started.

My dog almost got killed by my sister's dog which has caused a lot of stress here at home because we have to keep them separated at all times.  

And then the Biggie.  Keven is no longer here.  It makes everything else pale in comparison.  Sometimes on gray days when we both felt down we'd lie on my bed with the curtains open watching the clouds go by.  We might talk, me might fall asleep, we might just be silent.  But it always felt good because we had each other.

Now I fluctuate between wanting to find purpose for my life in light of all I've learned from my journey with Kev, and, just staying home and avoiding life and living a very simple existence.

I know I don't have to make any decisions right now, but it feels like not making a decision is making a decision to do nothing.  That said, its time for a nap.

Peace, Love and Hope, Bar